The bathroom, the naked guy, and me

I posted this on Facebook / Twitter when it happened, but it is too good to not save forever. So here goes:

Here’s a great little tale about the magic of Disneyland for everyone.

So I’m at Carthay Circle with Ross and Jay, waiting for 2 of Ross’ friends. We just ate elsewhere and were stopping in for a drink. But, I felt my stomach gurgle, and decided I needed a bathroom break. So, I went upstairs to use the bathroom.

I go in, and check out the stall situation. These magic Carthay stalls have that lock that tells you if it’s occupied or not if the door is locked.

The handicap stall says occupied, but the other regular stall does not.

So I open the unoccupied one, expecting to go in and do my business.

But as soon as I open the door, I see there is a man sitting on the toilet.

But not only is he sitting on the toilet…he’s sitting on the toilet naked.

No shirt. No pants. Butt ass naked. On his phone. Playing fruit ninja.

Note: I’m not sure if he was actually playing fruit ninja. That’s just a guess.

And this is a big dude. I’m talking like he’s pushing 250, hair all over, and he’s just chilling.

So now I’m holding the stall door, staring at this naked dude. And he’s staring at me. Our eyes are locked in a game of “who is going to say something first?”

I clearly loss that game, because I go “Uh…sorry?”

And he goes “No worries!”

And goes back to slicing his fruit.

I let the door close, and then, I wait a moment.

Why? To see if this dude locks the door, now that he knows he was open.

And guess what? HE FUCKING DOESN’T!

This dude doesn’t even bother locking the door, after a random guy walks in on him, fruit ninja-ing it up naked.

Anyway, I walked out and went to the bathroom
around the corner.

Moral of the story: don’t believe what the bathroom stalls tell you.

Also: you’re apparently better at fruit ninja when you’re butt as naked in a public place.

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